tofurkey day

yesterday was thanksgiving
or
national culturally imposed assimilation day

i am sitting in a house in virginia
next door there is a sign that says
"save yourself for jesus"
which is a block down from the
guns n' amo shack

after my grandmother explained to me that native americans had not done anything with the land so it was ok that we stole it from them because they needed help and civilization
she asked me to do the monkey impersonation
which involves a lot of spastic jumping and high pitched squeeling
and that made the dog bark and pee
in that order
fortunately
i was wearing socks
unfortunately
my mom was not
fortunately
she was three glasses of wine in and did not notice

four vegetarian explanations and three communist rants later
i am happily curled up in bed with the dog
who was not allowed to drink any more water
full belly
dry socks
it's a good day