the kids wanted to leave the love story
they wanted the media out

they said
let's bail

it was his ideas:
leave our real passports at the border
we'll buy new ones from mobsters
and then we'll run from them too

but can we? she asked
yes. he replied

she said:
you sweat in the coldest weather,
the dogs will track us down
this is crazy
you're crazy

and he said:
baby it's worth a try

so she took his hand
but past the border
where they left their passports

her hand fell from his
they parted ways

and invented a different kind of love story.

wrinkles

my mother stares at the mirror

lamenting her wrinkles.

she calls them 

ugly

and hides

her neck

because of them.

she wishes her face

smooth

and dreams it to be so.

funny.

because i 

can't wait for mine.

my wrinkles

my laugh lines

for my skin to grow tough

...er

because it tells the story of me.

one day i will sit 

and tell the children, 

maybe mine,

about them

and say with faraway eyes:

"this wrinkle is when i stood by jeff's bedside

praying he hadn't overdosed

praying he wouldn't give up

praying that praying meant something."

"this laugh line happened when mom danced around the kitchen with a towel and half eaten santa cookie to brahms' hungarian dance no. 5 because dad said she still had beautiful hips."

and so on

until i had named them all

all the wrinkles and lines

across the map and history of me

i would smile about meetings

and cry about passings

and love 

everything

in between

my wrinkles like badges

my lines like roses

all of it me

all of it beautiful

thinking all the while

"how wonderful to have my story on me and with me always and everywhere."

i just wanted to write

rain
brown eyes
warm wine

tonight
all the lights are shining
from the freeway the city looks like a sultan's gift
to a bride who refuses him

all those inhabitants
they all wear off on my skin
i come home smelling of
man
and
woman

i just wanted to write

the weather that makes me sad
leaves me loving the place
i was unsure of

i just wanted to write

thankful tonight
for

rain
brown eyes
warm wine

a fall from the highest beam
sleeping on cold ground
a blazing fire
cracked skin
born into the earth
green baby shoots
years
and
rain
and
sun
and
more
rain
and
more
sun
and
more
years
into age
into wisdom
and fallen
pulped
pounded
pressed
into paper

pressed
onto paper

it's winter

it's winter and i want everything in its place
the coat hung properly in the hallway closet
the little lace things in the top dresser drawer
i want the pillows on the bed arranged just so
as the rain finally falls on all that's parched below

i'm frozen on the edges
while just below the surface i'm warm
as tea and bread

this is runaway weather
late night car rides into nowhere weather
or
get in a fight on the front step weather
so we can make up and kiss in the rain weather
or
just stay home all day with paints and glitter weather
while you look at me as you hang the lights weather

it is the season as i remember you loved me worst
and best
with the most awful lies and weak excuses
and this year you are gone
with the old wrapping paper and promises
as i try to make sense of that
because
the rain is finally falling
it's winter
and i want everything in it's place