today i woke up to the sound of waves from the alarm clock
crashing into my dream
and pearl was dead somewhere in southeast asia
literally a big white pearl, and also this girl i know
it was relieving to wake up beside a sweet sleeping body
even if it was a time reserved for careers that have long been canceled out for me

the moon was still casting its glow across the ocean

i drank tea
i packed
he said, "i have a line for one of your pieces"
and i said, "what is it"
and he said, "you come and go by moon light"
it was true
and very sweet

i looked at him a long time
trying to see his face in all the different ways i can sometimes see it
and catch a phase of my favorite version
i did
and breathed it in
this man with the child so near

i wished him happy birthday
and left as the sun began to crest into the day

i drove for hours
in the predawn the mountains were magenta and red from the fires of the back country
mixing with the fog and the smoke
the air was thick and smelled like winter nights
unusual for an autumn morning
and it felt like i was driving my little honda civic into the hills of hell
and hell looked a lot like i had always imagined heaven to be
just black and pink
instead of blue and green

then there was breakfast and passing all the tiny towns that sleep in the hills beside the ocean
the carwash that didn't work
the food i spilled on my clean shirt
my hair amess
i listened to dreamtime music and thought about dances with chairs
and i made it to work

got offered a job i barely want
took it
to take it
filled in the rows and columns and then ran to serve pizzas for the rest of the night

so i served pizzas all night

and the dirty air of la is bareable when i breathe it as a free woman
done with work
and only writing to do
so i won't complain
i love driving home at night
through miracle mile
just the name of it makes it worth it
miracle mile

late night drives to silverlake
through crisp air
and a hundred years of hollywood history
making my skin tingle

how far i am away from home (and him)
where the hills are on fire
where i come and go by moonlight