even at 300 miles
i feel like the fire
is burning
right here
just at the edge where i can almost see it in these mountains too

and he is there
where i can't be

while the burning mountains are making eerie magic of the sunset

and if i feel this way

like my heart is a millimeter from bursting through my chest
like i put lead weights in my overcoat pockets and wear it as it pulls my shoulders down

then what must it be like to walk
as i read she walked
through the ruins of her home
or stand and watch
as i hear they do these nights
the fire make a light show for all to see

but i almost think it would be easier to be there
to be dealing with all this there
rather from here
where i am so far away

the cat toy at the party is a bear in a fire fighter hat
and my breath speeds up
my eyes go blank

someone says big sur
and i want to scream

that is today