today i am missing trains

Today I am not myself

I do not recognize you self
With your weepy eyes and
Pressed in heart

This is not the girl I know
Who has already learned to love

***************************

I miss trains she says to me
I miss India and
Paris

I miss Morocco and I have never been there
Some day
I long to miss Tunisia
Desert places

I miss who I am on trains
She writes
Endless trains
She writes
Endless trains

When you came home from India there was something so strong about you
He had said
In that coffee shop in Manhattan
And now you have lost it
It has worn off
Scared little girl has
Returned

Now three years later
Still feeling my hands on that paper coffee cup
Scratching to find something that was lost

Now three years later
Eighteen months since the last big train trip
The wanderer
The romantic
The exiled
The hungry
One beneath the skin
Is still breathing deep notice me breaths

Older
Wiser
And still
Loved
Loved
Loved
(three different ways)
And
Still
with feet on the ground
And map in hand
Lost
Lost
Lost