roadtrip

Looking over the hills tonight
Hanging low in the sky
I imagine her pregnant and barely able to stay there
So full of blackness
With a sexy silver sliver shining through

Writing about the moon
I always feel like a third grader
Just learning how to craft haiku

And think about the word pretty
With angsty haughty self loathing twenty three year old distaste.

But the moon makes me think of you
So I shift my thoughts to
You
With your moon belly
And deep sea eyes
And the way they are always tilt up to her then past her
Past planets and stars
Towards home

I had wanted to take you to open sky
I knew the place
Packed the car
Set the music
Two and a half hours out of town
To the desert just beyond the rolls in the road
To where it is flat and boulders take and make a new definition for
Slow dance

(had we known each other when we were younger, had we been closer in age, we would have been friends then too. Me in my duct tape pants and poetry, you with your fashion and shy ways. Yes I do believe that it is true. I would have dragged you on to the dance floor at thirteen. I would have been the only girl you talked to, until I taught you how to talk to girls.)

But it wasn’t as I had hoped
(sadly hopes are not plans, although sometimes we wish they were)
Two and a half hours out of town
To take a walk off an empty road just before dusk
Towards giant rocks beyond
You flinching in the cold
And me saying over and over in my head
Yes, this place, I missed you place, dirty dusty dessert town and endless vastness
You again remarking on the weather and me thinking:
Want to sink down here and evaporate like water on this rock

Wanting to cry like a baby when we had to leave
Wanted to pretend to lose my shoes
Like I could do when I was younger
Just to stay and play a little more

Instead I got real quiet as we
Lay down side by side in the seats to stare at eachother across the cup holders in the Center console
No tent no stove no money no where to go
(sadly hopes are not plans, although sometimes we wish they were)

So we just drove home
Two and a half hours
To fast food French fries
And fast flashy cars outside coffee stores
To home in time for dinner

But before
Just at the edge of town we stopped the car
And stared a good long stare
At the black sky stars.

My arms around your moon belly and you tracing the lights
Past planets past stars
Towards home